I want to capture my experience being a house wife and a H4 visa holder in US. I listen to my friends / read articles about the trauma faced by H4 visa holders . For me, it has not been difficult so far because I try making it easy for myself.
For people who are wondering about H4 , it is a dependent visa for H1b visa holder's spouse. As per US law, dependents can not work in US . They are allowed to study/ get a driving license/do voluntary work without pay .
Main challenge of being a house wife is lot of time in hand. Initial days were fun as I was busy watching tv, browse , chat with friends or sleep. But as the days passed on , I needed to find something to occupy myself. So here is what I am doing
- Working on improving my cooking skills
-Trying to be more regular for gym sessions
- Learn driving from my husband
- Reading books which I always wanted to read but dint have time for while working
- Playing games on play station
But, I am sure I will get bored of these too unless I find a job soon . So, I am working on finding a job which is almost as difficult as trekking Himalayas.
I feel it is very important to avoid negativity around you when you are a house wife and trying to get a job . I always avoid
- People who keep cribbing about how lonely/boring it is to sit at home- I feel the more you talk about loneliness, more you feel it. So it is better to focus on task at hand than talk about your current status.
- People who tell you how impossible it is to get a job on H4- Yes, I agree they are right. But you already know it ,so don't need constant reminders of it. When I am on job hunt, last thing I want is to be low on confidence .
- People who ask you how you kill your time without doing "anything"- this is the most difficult part , because almost all of your friends will ask you this. I wonder how they conclude that you are not doing anything when they know you are on job hunt!
Also try not to bug your poor husband cribbing about your boring day. I understand that you need to share your frustrations/feelings with him but calling him at work and crying about it is not what I call sharing(believe me girls do it!!)
Thanks to Sudhir who is always there to understand and support me . When he comes home with that cute smile of his and his eyes sparkle when he sees me(or the snacks I made;), it feels everything I have left behind in India worth ..